Criminals get Glue instead of Handcuffs

Life has become utterly too hard for people these days and democrats in particular want to ensure that people, even criminals, are handled with more care and softness. Criminals are generally more sensitive and when they act up in some type of uncontrolled rage, they are really just screaming that they want homemade wine, a foot massage and some warm or cold dessert. With this in perspective, some politicians who are, for the most part, clueless about law, the police force, criminal procedures and the like want to start making some changes. To start with – handcuffs are now seen as too cruel of a means for restraint. They can create marks on the wrist and prevent the arrested from itching their eyebrow or smacking the mosquito that has penetrated their neck. Instead, police officers will now be using elementary grade glue to keep those committing crimes, or even those innocent ones thought to be guilty, from trying to do any harm or, if they dare, try to escape like a hamster at the top edge of their cage. This glue will dry under 33 minutes and will keep an average 18 year old’s hands glued together for an average of 22 minutes – more than 4 minutes longer than the average time needed to bring the arrested into captivity. While this fails to solve the temporary itch or the like, based on the sample poll from 17 people, this one change will make criminals more comfortable – which is one small step in eradicating bad behavior.